How To: ATM Machine

[Night Runner]

:


My bank just put in a new ATM. Here's the instructions:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."



MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.



FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary. With your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
1 9. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


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[LTDHO]

I hate the term ATM Machine!
It's the same as LSD Diff and PIN Number!

Grrr.

[Night Runner]

Ahhh, OOOO,K? Money Machine. LSD? & PIN? :
Didn't know such small things can get too people that easily.......

[sgt_doofey]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

I hate the term ATM Machine!
It's the same as LSD Diff and PIN Number!

You also forgot ABN number... :voldar02:

[nothin suss]

Originally Posted by [ NZTS50 ]

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Thats my favorite bit........ :

[holmsy]

Originally Posted by [ NZTS50 ]

Ahhh, OOOO,K? Money Machine. LSD? & PIN? :
Didn't know such small things can get too people that easily.......

he is talking about the fact.
ATM = automatic teller MACHINE
LSD = limited slip diff
PIN = personal identification number

you are effectively saying. automatic teller machine machine.

[Night Runner]

Originally Posted by holmsy

he is talking about the fact.
ATM = automatic teller MACHINE
LSD = limited slip diff
PIN = personal identification number

you are effectively saying. automatic teller machine machine.

Yeah I noticted that about 30 minutes after posting when I came back.
But ah, it takes a little more than that too ruin my day mate. : ;)


Time to go for a drive I think.............. :

[sexy_xr6]

I Must Be A Man Cuz I Don't Do Anything Listed In The Female Part!

[Hawk]

I am not female, but that sounds about right to me. Love the ending!!!