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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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#1 | ||
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Maybe an oldy but it's funny.
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Canberra and mine is in Sydney. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair. :evil_laug Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?".... I said, "Dust!" In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to'. |
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#2 | |||
The Smoking Sloth™
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 336
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You're so dead when she sees this! :P hahahaha
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Quote:
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#3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
![]() Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 12,083
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Very VERY dead.
There is no way I'm getting into this one. ![]()
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Older, wiser, poorer. Now in Euro-Trash. VW Coupe V6 4motion.
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#4 | ||
Ford Fanatic
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 326
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lmao, RATT will be getting no loving any time soon once the other half reads this
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#5 | ||
Miami Pilot
![]() Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ACT
Posts: 21,701
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I especially like the last one!
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The Hammer: FG GTE | 376rwkw | 1/4 mile 11.793 @ 119.75mph 1.733 60' (4408lb) 1 of 60 FG MK1 335 GTEs (1 of 118 FG Mk 1 & 2 335 GTEs). Mods: Tune, HSD/ShockWorks, black GT335 19” staggered replicas with 245 & 275/35/19 Michelin Pilot sport 5s Daily: BF2 Fairmont Ghia I6 ZF, machine face GT335 19” staggered Replicas with 245s and 275s, Bilsteins & Kings FPV 335 build stats: <click here> Ford Performance Club ACT |
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#6 | ||
Back where I belong
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Mexico - Victoria
Posts: 947
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Oh Come on I love being married...I had sex nearly every night last week....
Nearly had sex on monday, nearly had sex on Tuesday, etc etc hahaha
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Regards Craig |
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#7 | |||
Ford Fanatic
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 326
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Quote:
so so close, all that hard work wasted |
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#8 | ||
THCC Motorsport member 1
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the ghetto....no im being serious!
Posts: 1,139
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lol can you say "on da couch?" lol
cause thats where youll be sleeping one ya missus reads that lol
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Southcyde Designs<------click here ![]() Member of the MTAS Founder of TTM (team twink motorsport) Founder of the AFFDDPS (Australian Ford Forums Drink Driving Punishment Squad) |
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#9 | ||
i like to be stroked
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: between her legs
Posts: 1,926
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and u didnt mention your girlfriend LOL my wife hate my girlfriend.
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn...that was fun!" |
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#10 | ||
meow
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
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LOL!!!
all of them are hilarious... casper, your paint not starting to fade yet? you've washed that an awful lot recently :P |
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#11 | |||
Burnin Rubber
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 1,824
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Hey marriage is all about comunication
My Wife loves to talk during sex, just the other night she rung me from a hotel in Brisbane.
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2001 AUII Forte (LPG) K&N Air Filter Tickford Air Intake ***Coming Soon: Clear Side Repeaters*** Quote:
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#12 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,521
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Quote:
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Me fail English? That's unpossible.
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#13 | ||
Solution Was Boost 4?, 6 & 8
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 23,624
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all you need to do is listen to each other
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
AUTOTECH TUNED EDELEBROCK CHARGED 2017 GT Mustang Plenty of RWKW |
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#14 | |||
Silhouette AU1 TS50.
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Radiator Springs, Victoria.
Posts: 2,135
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Quote:
All we do is listen, it's not like she stops talking so you can say anything anyway.
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"People can have the Model T in any colour.. so long as it's black." HENRY FORD (30/07/1863 - 07/04/1947) PIC'S OF MY T1 TS50.
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#15 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,167
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I can say whatever I like about about my missus- as long as she can't hear me-he he
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igodabigblackshinycar and I relented and allowed a BMW into the garage. ![]() |
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#16 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: searching for cubes
Posts: 6,672
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On a serious note though ... it is important for a man that he can find a woman who is good around the house, cooking, cleaning, washing, looking after the needs of the children etc. It is also important for a man that he can find a woman who is loving, caring and a willing sexual partner wishing to give him pleasure all the time. But it is most important for a man that these two women never meet.
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#17 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: South East Melbourne
Posts: 6,156
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Ahhhhhh women. Can't live with em, can't bury em in the backyard without the neighbours noticing.
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#18 | |||
Silhouette AU1 TS50.
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Radiator Springs, Victoria.
Posts: 2,135
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Quote:
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"People can have the Model T in any colour.. so long as it's black." HENRY FORD (30/07/1863 - 07/04/1947) PIC'S OF MY T1 TS50.
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#19 | ||
Beaver fever
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the lunatic asslyum
Posts: 587
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oh you men are so dead, and yes casper its just as well you didnt reply to this thread. now get out and wash the car.....
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#20 | ||
THCC Motorsport member 1
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the ghetto....no im being serious!
Posts: 1,139
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lol
some adivice for the guys here: if your missus is banging on the front door to let her in and the dog is at the back door barking and scraping to be let in, who do you let in??? the dog, cause you know hes gonna shut up once hes let in ![]() /me is glad hes single hehehehe
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Southcyde Designs<------click here ![]() Member of the MTAS Founder of TTM (team twink motorsport) Founder of the AFFDDPS (Australian Ford Forums Drink Driving Punishment Squad) |
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#21 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
![]() Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 12,083
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Quote:
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Older, wiser, poorer. Now in Euro-Trash. VW Coupe V6 4motion.
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#22 | ||
XB in parts...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,890
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oh you men are so dead, and yes casper its just as well you didnt reply to this thread. now get out and wash the car.....
His retina's must burn everytime he looks at his car, from the glare off the paint from all that cleaning.... ![]()
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Daily Driver 2019 Ford Escape...looking for XR6T's. |
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#23 | |||
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Quote:
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#24 | ||
Beaver fever
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the lunatic asslyum
Posts: 587
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actually no i dont wash his car i wash my own. reason being is he is so pedantic about his car that i wouldnt bother as if i missed a bit i would never hear the end of it
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#25 | ||||
Burnin Rubber
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 1,824
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Quote:
![]() And, ![]()
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2001 AUII Forte (LPG) K&N Air Filter Tickford Air Intake ***Coming Soon: Clear Side Repeaters*** Quote:
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#26 | ||
Beaver fever
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the lunatic asslyum
Posts: 587
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yeah but he enjoys it
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#27 | ||||
Burnin Rubber
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 1,824
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Quote:
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2001 AUII Forte (LPG) K&N Air Filter Tickford Air Intake ***Coming Soon: Clear Side Repeaters*** Quote:
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#28 | |||
Moderator
![]() Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
:hihi: Of course, I'm a nutter so ignore everything I say.........
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM Last edited by Casper; 13-01-2005 at 10:49 PM. Reason: saving my life!!! |
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#29 | ||
Beaver fever
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the lunatic asslyum
Posts: 587
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mate if he told you that he is full of s###. He calls is nagging. But then again we have lived together long enough for him to know what needs to be done anyway so why should i have to ask because a male chooses to play dumb...
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#30 | ||
Moderator
![]() Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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-=Disclaimer: the views of sourbastard do not neccessarily correspond to what his post now reflects=-
lol
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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