SHOCK! New Medical Discoveries

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 11:10 AM

After some laborious, measured and carefully documented research, I have come to the following scientific conclusions.

A 500ml Stein of Margarita(4 Shots of Tequila, 8 shots of cointreu and 8 shots of lemon juice), is enough to get most men drunk.
Two glasses of Kaluha and milk, a shot of bourbon and another stein of bundy and coke, IS NOT required.

Barry_V should not be looked at while drunk, as he wont stop rotating around the room. I found this disconcerting that he was able to defy gravity and physics so easily. I think he may be David Copperfields son.

DVD subtitles may not be accurate when drunk. Im not sure how Sony was able to detect I was drunk, but I think it was a cruel joke to triple the amounts of words in the subtitles.

Also while watching said DVD, you will feel required to point out stupid, useless and most unimportant facts, in an attempt to appear as if you are still aware of where you are, and what you are doing. There is no argument. You dont know where you are. You dont know what you are doing.

If you need to vomit, the toilet is far superior to the lawn.
The toilet is designed to be gripped to prevent the bowl from spinning and comes with a warm mat which is gentle on the knees. An important part if you plan on spending a great deal of time in there.

If you feel crook enough that you decide to throw yourself into the shower, dont pass out ontop of the drain. Theres a better then average chance of drowning. If you can, dont crawl out of the shower. Its cold, and wet. If you have forgotten a towel, dont bother trying to dry yourself with a nightgown you found on the bathroom floor, as its already soaked from the water thats come out of the shower alcove.

Keep a full bottle of water by the bed and drink throughout the night. If you dont, you will swallow your own tongue in an attempt to drain it of moisture, and, you, will, die.

The next morning, and the dawn, should not be welcomed. It only proclaims another 24 hours of suffering.

Now obviously this isnt to be considered hard data, until I repeat it next saturday night.

LUXO_8 · 18-06-2006, 11:29 AM

hahahahaha.... few too many heh

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 11:32 AM

I only had 4 glasses.

The issue was it was a 500ml glass.

SpoolMan · 18-06-2006, 11:35 AM

Gee Sour, was it really that bad....its been many years since i experienced this.
Q: Was it worth it?

Barry_v · 18-06-2006, 11:40 AM

further findings and conclusions will be available shortly in a documentary DVD titled

"the charlie sheen movie marathon"

special features include

Sourbastard Commentary
Collectors Booklet titled "I DONT JUDGE YOU, NOW HAND ME THE TEQUILA"
Unnecessarily long winded dialogue causing subtitles to move too fast for a drunk man to read.
special bonus mini documentary "the morning after"

Rated: PG
Duration: 495 mins.

MightyXR6Turbo · 18-06-2006, 11:42 AM

I'll take three...

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barry_v

further findings and conclusions will be available shortly in a documentary DVD titled

"the charlie sheen movie marathon"

special features include

Sourbastard Commentary
Collectors Booklet titled "I DONT JUDGE YOU, NOW HAND ME THE TEQUILA"
Unnecessarily long winded dialogue causing subtitles to move too fast for a drunk man to read.
special bonus mini documentary "the morning after"

Rated: PG
Duration: 495 mins.

Im thinking of producing a sequel. The titles in working are the following.

"Sourbastard and his Technicolour Toilet Mat"
"Voyage to the bottom of the shower"
"Vomit - The Musical"

Laminge · 18-06-2006, 01:53 PM

Bwahahaha

Well I have seen Barry drunk in the fetal position hanging desperately onto a PSP control making vrrrrmm noises whilst attempting to play gt3 - pity he was only at the login screen to input your name.

Now Sourbastard drunk, crawling on all 4's, naked whilst draped in a pink night gown would drive any 4 legged creature to run bi-directional at once causing its guts to go one way and its head another....

My eyes are burning........ and with tears of horror I can only rock back and forth on the chair mumbling I want my mummy!

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laminge

causing its guts to go one way and its head another....

thats essentially what I was doing while staring into the toilet bowl.

SpoolMan · 18-06-2006, 02:31 PM

Here some pics of sour over the dunny.

xbcool · 18-06-2006, 02:34 PM

Im impressed that you did your own research with otu government backing!

5L · 18-06-2006, 02:36 PM

sounds like you have mastered the technique,
i suggest that you do not have sculling competitions with each other with smirnoff double blacks, the night ends the same way except for the fact that its only the lawn that was made. and there i woke up at 6 in the morning.

Walkinshaw · 18-06-2006, 03:32 PM

Why wasnt I invited?

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walkinshaw

Why wasnt I invited?

Cause there isnt enough room in my shower for three.

Aaron_EF8 · 18-06-2006, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Cause there isnt enough room in my shower for three.

Lies.

Sourbastard · 18-06-2006, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron_EF8

Lies.

well. Not living people anyway.

Ultimate · 18-06-2006, 04:21 PM

Lol sour thats classic research. Awaiting next installment

Jeff

smciner1 · 18-06-2006, 08:39 PM

Have you sent your Resume to Braniac (tm)?

I can do Science Me (tm)!

Casper · 18-06-2006, 08:43 PM

were there carrots? there is always carrots!

MO · 18-06-2006, 09:48 PM

You know the best thing about it all....you may wake up with a very bad hangover..but your better off than the ones who went to bed sober.

Why ...because you are going to feel a whole lot better eventually........the sober ones are as good as they're going to feel all day.

Walkinshaw · 18-06-2006, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John McMaster

You know the best thing about it all....you may wake up with a very bad hangover..but your better off than the ones who went to bed sober.

Why ...because you are going to feel a whole lot better eventually........the sober ones are as good as they're going to feel all day.

Good ole blue eyes

**Mechan1k** · 18-06-2006, 10:36 PM

There's no need for a hangover though ... just start the drinking all over again and get rid of the hangover.

charles_wif_xf · 19-06-2006, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

I only had 4 glasses.

The issue was it was a 500ml glass.

: That's a good one

Outbackjack · 19-06-2006, 01:54 AM

I am nursing boken ribs at the moment, hit the celtic crossing after a few red wines the other week. Not pretty. Dont ever puke with broken ribs.

Who was the famous actor that once bumped into a woman, looked at her and lammented "my god your'e ugly" She retorted "your drunk!!!" he answers, "yes madam, but I'll be sober in the morning!".

WC Feilds???

Ultimate · 19-06-2006, 07:31 AM

Well i got a mate, and well shannon believes in having a good spit before going to sleep.

Me myself there nothing like having about a litre or two of water before bed.

I never had a bad hangover when drinking the water.

Jeff

MightyXR6Turbo · 19-06-2006, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultimate

Me myself there nothing like having about a litre or two of water before bed.

I never had a bad hangover when drinking the water.

Jeff

You can tell you don't live in Adelaide like us, just sniffing Adelaide water gives you a hangover ;)

Barry_v · 19-06-2006, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

Who was the famous actor that once bumped into a woman, looked at her and lammented "my god your'e ugly" She retorted "your drunk!!!" he answers, "yes madam, but I'll be sober in the morning!".

WC Feilds???

nope wasnt an actor, it was Winston Churchill. which makes it even funnier.