One for the geeks.....

[flappist]

[font='Verdana','sans-serif']If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines... [/font][font='Times New Roman','serif']

[/font][font='Verdana','sans-serif']UNIX Airways [/font][font='Verdana','sans-serif']

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.[/font][font='Times New Roman','serif'][/font]

[font='Verdana','sans-serif']Linux Air [/font][font='Verdana','sans-serif']

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"[/font]

[gozza]

This is just a trick so see who the geeks are Flappist. pretty clever and funny joke especially the mac part

[nommic]

Yeah, but if you fly Linux Air you have absolutely no chance of joining the Mile High Club... :

[XR6-VCT-2000]

That was very well done , good way of explaining the userbility and stability of the operating systems. lol

[Hunter]

Where's the Vista entry? I think Vista Air would be quite interesting actually. Analogous to a 747-400 full of disco lights, shagpile carpet, lavalamps, fake plants, a swimming pool and heaps of other useless crap that you don't need on a plane. Buying a ticket involves being told that there are 6 different types of planes you can fly on, each costing $200 more than the other and if you fly the basic one, you get onboard only to find there isn't a seat and you all have to sit in the cargohold along with the rubber dogshit being flown out of Taiwan.

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by nommic

Yeah, but if you fly Linux Air you have absolutely no chance of joining the Mile High Club... :

I would think with any of them you'd have no chance of joining the Mile High Club...

[XR6-VCT-2000]

Windows Vista Air:

Supposably for the high rollers from windows XP Air. When boarding the Vista Airline they realise it looks much neater, goto plug in some headphones before the flight to listen to a tune , but hey where the hell have they hidden everything , it's all there but you cant find a thing without searching the plane for ages!.
The Plane is just about to take off the ground but oh no just realised it doesn't use the same fuel as the xp planes / we're not leaving the ground today sorry (no drivers or program not compatible), you'll have to go back to the xp airlines to goto that destination ( to do the required process ) .

Note: Vista airlines warns their customers that if a plane does actually get off the ground, the plane might crash half way to the destination required due the Vista planes (drivers & programs) not being fully compatible with the most common available fuel source being used / fuel from the xp airlines planes.

[XRated]

Originally Posted by nommic

Yeah, but if you fly Linux Air you have absolutely no chance of joining the Mile High Club... :

Touche!

I wonder if the author was a Linux fan? :

[Fordman1]

Originally Posted by flappist

[font='Verdana','sans-serif']If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines... [/font][font='Times New Roman','serif']

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Lol so true !!

[pertuan]

Haha. Its a classic this one. I first read it in 1998 when I started uni.

[davocol]

Lol some good ones there, particularly like the linux line about printing your own ticket.