hahaha here you go

AU2PWR · 12-03-2007, 12:06 PM

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles
per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing,and keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it. "I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
?
Just before they slam into the wall, she turns to him and smiles :"The airbag!"

Moral of the Story :

Women are clever!

Don't mess with them!

Jeeepers · 12-03-2007, 12:35 PM

Hahahaha.... Yep, didn't see that coming!! :evil3:

cuz · 12-03-2007, 03:07 PM

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the wife keeps staring at a drunken bloke swigging his drink as he sits alone at a nearby table.

The husband asks, "Do you know him?"

"Yes," sighs the wife, "He's my ex-boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the husband, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

cuz · 12-03-2007, 03:09 PM

This is a classic!!!!!!!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jLKIp2pPvZE

XR8putts · 12-03-2007, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuz351

This is a classic!!!!!!!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jLKIp2pPvZE

Hey that hasn't aired on NZ Tv yet! The other two or three Lift Plus ads rock too.

Interceptor · 12-03-2007, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AU2PWR

Moral of the Story :

Women are clever!
[/left]

dont you mean evil, devious and schemeing?

ten[A]cio[U]s · 12-03-2007, 09:15 PM

lol thats pretty funny. I thought it was going to be something about her being a slow driver, then the punch line came out of left field. hehe Good joke. :1syellow1

Falcon_Phill · 12-03-2007, 10:11 PM

Heres maybe the most intelligent thing ive found on myspace, thought it was pretty funny.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

Serial_Fool · 12-03-2007, 10:17 PM

Good one, I saved that one to me hard drive.

REHAB · 12-03-2007, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AU2PWR

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles
per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing,and keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it. "I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
?
Just before they slam into the wall, she turns to him and smiles :"The airbag!"

Moral of the Story :

Women are clever!

Don't mess with them!

Haha thats a good one!

Heard that ages ago

ten[A]cio[U]s · 13-03-2007, 03:59 PM

lol ^ another good one. Very clever.

Simmo · 13-03-2007, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Interceptor

dont you mean evil, devious and schemeing?

hahaha. women can be clever, but for every paris hilton, you'll need a million of these light-hearted jokes. i feel for women somewhat like today tonight feels for motoring enthusiasts. until the whole group is doing the right thing, you'll get lumped with the worst of them.