funny joke

[Dodge]

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.


Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore they were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then, she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.


Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $ 3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business !"

Sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

[jabba]

Thats a good joke Dodge. Here's one that was sent to me

Matt.

BLONDE JOKE

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $30, she
exclaimed: "But I don't have any money.

But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well, then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man said. She did.
"Now get on your knees." She did.
"Now take down my zipper." She did.
"Now go ahead .take it out." She reached in and grabbed it with
both hands …….. then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered,
"Well, go ahead." The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer………….and while holding it close to her lips tentatively said...

"Hello, Mom can you hear me?"

[Dodge]

The Deaf Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten
million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an
occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since
it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything
he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing
$10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign
language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper, "Where is the 10 million
bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks
the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollar is hidden. The bookkeeper
signs back: "I don't know what you're talking about." The attorney
tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking
about." That's when the Godfather pulls out a
9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says,
"Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the underling, "He'll kill you
for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You
win!
The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin
Enzo's backyard in Queens!" The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well,
what'd he say?"
The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the
trigger