Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 18-10-2006, 08:47 PM   #31
70caprigt3k
Nitrous Junkie
 
70caprigt3k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 859
Default

Another one i remember is every thursday we have a bloke from alsco come around and change the rag dispenser and mats so one of the blokes glued the mat to the ground, the poor alsco bloke was there for at least 15mins trying to get this mat unstuck....never saw him again.
__________________
'97 Toyota Supra - 6spd, Tilton Triple Plate, Built 2J, T88H-38GK, HKS 272 Cams, Haltech E11V2
70caprigt3k is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 18-10-2006, 10:16 PM   #32
EB Pete
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
EB Pete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Under the bonnet, trying to keep as clean as above!
Posts: 1,354
Default

got done by the old copper from the spark plug to the seat gives ya a fair old zap
EB Pete is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 19-10-2006, 10:36 PM   #33
private9
www.TUFFCARPARTS.com
 
private9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 5,221
Default

I've been sitting here cracking up, hillarious stuff!

Getting ready to set jelly in the desk drawers of a guy at work (we'll fill them up right to the top).

Recently made a friend a bday cake at work - got about 10 tins of tinnned corned beef emptied them in a cake tin, and then I put icing on top, looked real until people smelt or even tasted it! Awesome stuff!
private9 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 19-10-2006, 11:13 PM   #34
rag top
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
rag top's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ACT
Posts: 4,028
Default

vaseline on the ear piece of someone else's phone, leaves a nice whisp of vaseline coming out of their ear.

join all the paper clips together, when they need one in a hurry, they get the lot!

Offer to get someone a drink of OJ, and substitute a large dose of metamucil - keeps em regular for days.

Leave a message for a colleague, number for the Cemetry, and the contact name Myra Mains;

Substitute sugar for salt, and vice versa...
rag top is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 07:43 AM   #35
sgt_doofey
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
sgt_doofey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Barossa Valley, South Australia
Posts: 3,381
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rag top
vaseline on the ear piece of someone else's phone, leaves a nice whisp of vaseline coming out of their ear.
Or better yet, vegemite!
__________________
Cheers,
Sam.
sgt_doofey is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 09:29 AM   #36
Kapn_Kiwi
It is hard...
 
Kapn_Kiwi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 587
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by private9
I've been sitting here cracking up, hillarious stuff!

Getting ready to set jelly in the desk drawers of a guy at work (we'll fill them up right to the top).
"I don't like Jelly, I don't trust the way it moves"
__________________
I could eat a knob at night...
Kapn_Kiwi is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 10:20 AM   #37
XR6-VCT-2000
Fantastic Plastic
 
XR6-VCT-2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Mars most of the time
Posts: 2,019
Default

I don't drink coffee, so i like occasionally emptying the sugar jar out at work and filling it with salt !, nothing like a salty coffee huh ? ..lol

another good 1 for getting bosses that lean back on their chairs is ...
some basic electronics / bluetack, a 9v battery , a 100v capacitor , a mercury switch and 2 thin metal wires/prongs. (this setup is to be mounted under a padded/material chair with bluetack) Hook the battery to charge the capacitor, ground 1 side of the capacitor to a thin bit of wire and feed that wire through the back of the seat until it just sits under the seating surface, mount the mercury switch on a 45 degree'ish angle and connect 1 end to the other side of the capacitor and hook the other prong/wire to the end of the mercury switch , feed the wire into the seat as you did the other wire , leaving them about at least 1" apart . Make sure the wires are fed to around the centre area of the chair just under the surface.
When the boss leans back the mercury switch makes contact and dumps a shock into ya bosses butt :hihi: .. lol .
__________________
------------------------------------------------------------

:eclipsee_
XR6-VCT-2000 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 12:58 PM   #38
Veefore
Regular Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 175
Default

Two different ones. One was my Dad and one from me.
When my Dad was doing his apprenticeship his boss sent him out for a left handed hammer. When my Dad came back 4 hours later the boss was angry and confused. Eventually my Dad owned up that he had known all along that there was no such thing as a left handed hammer so he went home and had a sleep.

When I started working, I was sent out for a left handed screwdriver (there is no originality in the world!) I came back with a left handed set of Wiss-snips (gee, I'm sorry, are you sure you said screwdriver and not snips?)and an account that the boss was VERY unhappy about having to pay.
Veefore is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 01:01 PM   #39
Scareybear
GRRRR.....
 
Scareybear's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,158
Default

Leaving a message for someone to call Ronald, leaving the local Maccas number.
__________________
Now - 2007Renault Megane sedan, Steel Gray, 19" Koya Ambush with 235/35R19 Yokohama ADVAN V103, Eibach Pro-Kit.
Gone but not forgotton - Diamond White 2004 LX Fiesta



If you sneeze with your eyes open, do your eyes pop out??
Scareybear is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 02:29 PM   #40
TZENU
XY Driv3r
 
TZENU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 3,004
Default

Back in the day working at BiLo a group of mates and I were rebels and a half!!!!
Pallets of Toilet paper and tissue wheeled down the aisle and we would throw ourselves into them.(bloody jackass rotted our brains)
When a load of say 16 pallets would be delivered to our store the first 30min we would be racing on top of the pallets from one end of the store room to the other!
Poking holes in the meat and hiding it amongst the shelves was quite common, so to was putting matchbox cars in orange juice bottles and peanut butter jars.

The one that truely captures our 'rebelness' is the day we took an energy drink each drunk half of it then topped it with our .... ............yep you guessed it urine.... The next shift came round and the drinks had disappeared!!!!
__________________
Genuine Faker NOW BROKEN
Imagniation is a human element creativity is the result
TZENU is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 03:51 PM   #41
XYGTHO
FORD FREAK
 
XYGTHO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rockhampton
Posts: 1,750
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TZENU
The one that truely captures our 'rebelness' is the day we took an energy drink each drunk half of it then topped it with our .... ............yep you guessed it urine.... The next shift came round and the drinks had disappeared!!!!
Jeese. Glad i don't drink orange juice or energy drinks. Lol. Pity the poor bugger who got it. :
__________________
JUST LOVE THAT V8 SOUND, RUMBLE, MUSIC!
XYGTHO is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 03:52 PM   #42
LUXO_8
windsor user
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
Default

another ive heard of is tomato sauce in the bottom of a coffee......it doesnt mix with the coffee, so they get a nice cup of coffee till the end where they get a gobfull of tomato sause........makes me half sick just thinking about it:S
LUXO_8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 03:56 PM   #43
Bossxr8
Peter Car
 
Bossxr8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: geelong
Posts: 23,145
Default

Filling peoples gloves with black sillicone is always funny.


One time a guy would ring the factory phone and wait for the leading hand to go and answer it, then hang it up right when he picked it up. He would spend 30 seconds saying hello over and over again. Then repeat it another 5 times with the guy going nuts and wondering why the person on the other end wouldn't talk.
Bossxr8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 04:45 PM   #44
knighto42
Regular Member
 
knighto42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 142
Default

A good one for phones with conference call facilities is to call one internal extension, then quickly call a second one. If you're lucky they both pick up about the same time...
"Hello"
"Hello"
-- silence --
"Can I help you?"
"You called me"
"No I didn't you called me"
"Err.. no. You called me."
etc etc etc...
knighto42 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 05:10 PM   #45
Bossxr8
Peter Car
 
Bossxr8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: geelong
Posts: 23,145
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by knighto42
A good one for phones with conference call facilities is to call one internal extension, then quickly call a second one. If you're lucky they both pick up about the same time...
"Hello"
"Hello"
-- silence --
"Can I help you?"
"You called me"
"No I didn't you called me"
"Err.. no. You called me."
etc etc etc...
Hamish and Andy did something like that with 2 phone sex line workers. They were both trying to do their thing before it turned into the who phoned who bit and they both realised they had been dudded. That was hilarious.
Bossxr8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 05:25 PM   #46
XRated
Shoot.
 
XRated's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,909
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kapn_Kiwi
"I don't like Jelly, I don't trust the way it moves"
"A trifling matter..."
__________________


20V Turbo

XRated is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 05:42 PM   #47
kraddy
Trying to keep license
 
kraddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tootgarook, VIC
Posts: 68
Default

1. When I worked at safeways I grabbed a rubber snake off the shelf and put it in the cash register just before I finished my shift. The supervisor went to count it and opened up the register to find a black rubber snake in there. Her scream was louder than the PA system in the store. I didnt stop laughing for a few days...... I wasnt very popular for a while after that.

2. The supervisor was standing at the service desk so through a toy spider in front of her as if it had fallen from the roof. The next thing i know is that papers a flying everywhere and women are screaming and running around like headless chooks. Again, I was laughing very hard for a long time, and i got called some names that i dont think should have been said in the middle of a supermarket..
__________________
02 BA XR6 Turbo | Narooma Blue | Cold Air Intake | Exaust | BMC Panel Filter | Hell Of A Lot More Coming Soon To A Road Near You!

222.3 RWKW
kraddy is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-10-2006, 09:44 PM   #48
samftr
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
samftr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Brisvegas QLD
Posts: 1,166
Default

this stuff is gold.
I had a boss who was a cheeky ****. It was my first job and I was doing administration.
So first thing in the morning i would sit down and check my desk
so on the desk was a folded bit of a4 paper with the writing:
Dear Sam,
here are those perscriptions you asked me about
regards Bevin

and he had highlited the VIAGRA part on an online pharmacy list the ****.

another one was i have a drink in a glass bottle and me mate adrian stuck some chocolate shavings in it (well they look like wood shavings or cocoroach POOP) and i have taken a swig of it and nearly choked on it

so i found his chocolate tin with the shavings in it and poured all my water in the tin *heh*
then it was on from here, he glued all my tools to the tool bench with wood glue
so i painted the handles of his tools with black spray paint etc etc. was funny till i cracked LOL
__________________
FG

Felcen!
samftr is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 22-10-2006, 04:05 PM   #49
ThoR_
Holdens Fall Apart!
 
ThoR_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Perth W.A
Posts: 881
Default

My Dad got the long weight when he was an electrition apprentice way back in like 70`s or so. After like 3 hours they finally told him the joke ahahaha. He told us at the dinner table n he is still pretty jacked about it everyone went quiet but i was laughing and crying extremely loud. He didnt apreciate it. But i did. i said AHAHAHA YOU RETARD!

He sez gee thanks son
__________________
AU2 XR8, Venom Red, 200kw, K&N Panel Filter, 2.5" Lukey Exhaust
ThoR_ is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 22-10-2006, 04:06 PM   #50
ThoR_
Holdens Fall Apart!
 
ThoR_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Perth W.A
Posts: 881
Default

We use2 get those news paper add`s of guys on guys and stuff and place them in my bosses wallet half sticking out. Or his file and people would pull it out and be like ahahaha POOFTER
__________________
AU2 XR8, Venom Red, 200kw, K&N Panel Filter, 2.5" Lukey Exhaust
ThoR_ is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 22-10-2006, 08:20 PM   #51
HavocXR8
yay still alive
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: canberra
Posts: 141
Default

at school we put black grease aroung the black padding on ear muffs
HavocXR8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 22-10-2006, 08:44 PM   #52
samftr
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
samftr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Brisvegas QLD
Posts: 1,166
Default

the guys at work cut out the home blokes section and stick the stinkin pictures in other peoples wallets. shi ts me off when i open my wallet and there is a picture of someones old fella staring me in the face
__________________
FG

Felcen!
samftr is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 11-11-2006, 04:25 AM   #53
ThoR_
Holdens Fall Apart!
 
ThoR_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Perth W.A
Posts: 881
Default

Worked at IGA. I use2 say to all the younger guys ' hey eat that stuff it`s gonna get ditched anyway' they got a suprise when it was expired and tasted like a battery in there mouth
__________________
AU2 XR8, Venom Red, 200kw, K&N Panel Filter, 2.5" Lukey Exhaust
ThoR_ is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 11-11-2006, 07:26 PM   #54
SprintMe
Starter Motor
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 17
Default

tell someone to go into a supermarket and ask for chin nuts
SprintMe is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 12-11-2006, 12:56 AM   #55
DJR MAN
DJR Fan
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 448
Default

1. Select victim's toolbox.
2. Peel back a corner of a sticker from the back of it.
3. Drillhole and screw in grease nipple.
4. Connect pnuematic grease gun and empty in about 40kg of grease.
5. Remove nipple, reapply sticker and wait.

Also good is to do a couple of tack welds on back of box to bench top, and watch the poor bugger try and lift it.

Or if you like, fill the key hole(s) with locktite.

OR , if you are a real nasty bugger, combine all of the above.
DJR MAN is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 12-11-2006, 02:58 AM   #56
samftr
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
samftr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Brisvegas QLD
Posts: 1,166
Default

beh, screw the toolbox to the bench with some chipboard self tappers that works muhuhahahahahaha....
sheet ein mein moustache.
*giggle*
Glue all the tools to their bench.
sprinkle sawdust and beads through their lounge they are working on.
sprinkle abovementioned in their drinking cup.
yeah good good.
__________________
FG

Felcen!
samftr is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-11-2006, 08:08 PM   #57
Jason[98.EL]
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Jason[98.EL]'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: GEELONG
Posts: 7,946
Default

hehe this goes back to when i was a first year apprentice

my boss told me to go to the local paint shop to get some rainbow paint

i said no worries ( the paint shop was owned by on of my uncles ) i proceeded to the shop and told him what was happening

he then mixed up the paint for me

i returned to the workshop to see the boss and all the other guys laughing thier heads of

my boss soon stopped laughing when he saw the $500 dollar bill for the paint 4 ltrs

so i got him on that one

jason
__________________
no longer have a ford but a ford man at heart
R.I.P 98 EL MAY YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE IN FALCON HEAVEN

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Jason[98.EL] is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-11-2006, 08:14 PM   #58
Redrum
Force Fed Fords
 
Redrum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Victoria
Posts: 5,556
Default

I sometimes get the mic for the PA in the div van, jam it between the seat and the closed drivers door with the transmitter button pressed. This will stop the siren from working when it is pressed. At the same time you turn the sirens on. The un suspecting driver opens the door of the van and the sirens go off!! Good for night shift :
__________________
2021 Focus ST-3 Mountune Enhanced
Redrum is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-11-2006, 09:07 PM   #59
DODDO
Can man
 
DODDO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Narellan Vale Sydney (Near Camden)
Posts: 214
Default

Ive cable tied the horn button down on the trucks at work. When the drivers start early in the morning when its dark, they turn the ignition on and get the fright of their lives.
I did this to one of the tradesman at work.
When they are working on a pretty big job and they have nuts and bolts everywhere, throw in a few extras.
When they finish the job and they have 'spares', you'll have em scratching their head for hours.
Good laugh
__________________
: HSV tools-made for HSV fools :
:2007 PJ Ranger duel cab 4X4:
DODDO is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-11-2006, 10:13 PM   #60
samftr
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
samftr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Brisvegas QLD
Posts: 1,166
Default

LOL at the horn and sirens! has anyone had tried taping the button down on the phone at work, so when say the boss answers it they pick up the phone and it keeps ringing... till they realise the button is down still. hehe
__________________
FG

Felcen!
samftr is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 05:28 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL