A Seven Step Guide For When You've Just Woken Up In The Gutter....

loxxr6 · 07-08-2005, 08:51 PM

A Seven Step Guide For When You've Just Woken Up In The Gutter From A
Very Big Night Out...

1. Walk down one of the main streets of the city you happen to be in.

2. Turn left into a side street.

3. Turn left again into an alley. If there is no alley, you are in Hobart, possibly Perth.

4. If drug dealers are milling in the alley, you are probably in Adelaide, Sydney or Brisbane. If you are in Adelaide, buy up, let's face it - if you're not stoned in Adelaide, there's not a lot else to do.

If the drug dealer stabs you, however, you're in Sydney.

5. If you find that when you turned down the side alley you ended back
up on the street you began on, you are in Canberra.

6. If the alley is filled with cool cafes and underground basement dance
clubs that seemingly nobody knows about, you are in Melbourne.

7. If you left the city after turning into a side street, you are in Darwin. Don't worry about looking for the alley, just leave.

MITCHAY · 07-08-2005, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loxxr6

5. If you find that when you turned down the side alley you ended back
up on the street you began on, you are in Canberra.

Lol so true here.

**Peuty** · 07-08-2005, 09:07 PM

Hahahahaha thats classic!

MrSparkle · 07-08-2005, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loxxr6

6. If the alley is filled with cool cafes and underground basement dance
clubs that seemingly nobody knows about, you are in Melbourne.

... and you stumble into the middle of a Gangland shootout...

:

MO · 07-08-2005, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSparkle

... and you stumble into the middle of a Gangland shootout...

:

You have two choices A.hit the deck and pretend your dead or B.run like hell and hope they miss.

Fairlane · 07-08-2005, 10:20 PM

Top Read and all true. lol

Donut Queen · 07-08-2005, 10:21 PM

Aparently if you zig zag while running there's only a 11% chance of someone shooting at you hitting you. Just a tip if you're ever in that situation lol

MO · 07-08-2005, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donut Queen

Aparently if you zig zag while running there's only a 11% chance of someone shooting at you hitting you. Just a tip if you're ever in that situation lol

But what if you zig when you should've zaged.

Walkinshaw · 07-08-2005, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loxxr6

4. If drug dealers are milling in the alley, you are probably in Adelaide, Sydney or Brisbane. If you are in Adelaide, buy up, let's face it - if you're not stoned in Adelaide, there's not a lot else to do.

Once you buy up, drive over East and tripple your outlay

Danny · 08-08-2005, 12:56 AM

LOOVE the Melbourne one. Its soo bloody true its not funny!

Dave_au · 08-08-2005, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donut Queen

Aparently if you zig zag while running there's only a 11% chance of someone shooting at you hitting you. Just a tip if you're ever in that situation lol

Haha, thats a little rather precise statistic. I can just see it now, the professor of physics at MIT taking pot shots at test subjects with a rifle.

Shonky · 08-08-2005, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave_au

Haha, thats a little rather precise statistic. I can just see it now, the professor of physics at MIT taking pot shots at test subjects with a rifle.

Hahaha!

Test subjects? What else are students for?!

11% hey? It depends on the weapon, the ability of the assasin, the distance, the weather conditions, the size of the target, the timing of the shot and pure luck.

I'd say that there are way too many variables to come up with an exact statistic.

That said, you are obviously harder to shoot when you are zig-zagging than when you are running in a straight line or stationary so if someone starts shooting at you I would suggest that it would be worth a try... statistics or no statistics!