SHOCK! New Medical Discoveries

[Sourbastard]

After some laborious, measured and carefully documented research, I have come to the following scientific conclusions.

A 500ml Stein of Margarita(4 Shots of Tequila, 8 shots of cointreu and 8 shots of lemon juice), is enough to get most men drunk.
Two glasses of Kaluha and milk, a shot of bourbon and another stein of bundy and coke, IS NOT required.

Barry_V should not be looked at while drunk, as he wont stop rotating around the room. I found this disconcerting that he was able to defy gravity and physics so easily. I think he may be David Copperfields son.

DVD subtitles may not be accurate when drunk. Im not sure how Sony was able to detect I was drunk, but I think it was a cruel joke to triple the amounts of words in the subtitles.

Also while watching said DVD, you will feel required to point out stupid, useless and most unimportant facts, in an attempt to appear as if you are still aware of where you are, and what you are doing. There is no argument. You dont know where you are. You dont know what you are doing.

If you need to vomit, the toilet is far superior to the lawn.
The toilet is designed to be gripped to prevent the bowl from spinning and comes with a warm mat which is gentle on the knees. An important part if you plan on spending a great deal of time in there.

If you feel crook enough that you decide to throw yourself into the shower, dont pass out ontop of the drain. Theres a better then average chance of drowning. If you can, dont crawl out of the shower. Its cold, and wet. If you have forgotten a towel, dont bother trying to dry yourself with a nightgown you found on the bathroom floor, as its already soaked from the water thats come out of the shower alcove.

Keep a full bottle of water by the bed and drink throughout the night. If you dont, you will swallow your own tongue in an attempt to drain it of moisture, and, you, will, die.

The next morning, and the dawn, should not be welcomed. It only proclaims another 24 hours of suffering.

Now obviously this isnt to be considered hard data, until I repeat it next saturday night.