Try These then

[normell]

An Oriental was trying to exchange yen for dollars and asked the teller,"Why it change, yestoday I get two hunat dollar fo yen - today I get a hunat eighty?"

The tellers says, "Fluctuations."

The Oriental says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

BLONDE IN A BMW

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

IRISH DAUGHTER

The Irishman's daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this
time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us
know how you were doing? Why didn't you call?You little tramp! Don't
you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"Okay, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur
coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account
certificate for 5 million pounds. For my little brother, this gold
Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the spanking new Mercedes limited edition
convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the
Country Club. (takes a breath) .. and an invitation for you all to spend
New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it you said you had become?"
The girl, crying again, replied, "Sniff, sniff .. A prostitute Dad! .
Sniff, sniff ."
"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said
"a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with
perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
do with them...


THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
To which he Blonde replies, "HellOOOOOOO. They're watch dogs!"