BBQ Rules!!!!

[phoonfan]

Well the days are getting longer and warmer, at least for us mexicans!

so i just thought i'd post the "rules" i recieved in an email so everyone clear for the comming season!

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." Upon seeing her annoyed reaction he concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...



No read this to your Mrs and duck when the frying pan goes wissing past!

[uranium_death]

I prefer to do my own BBQ.

I don't enjoy caveman rituals in reality, but seeing that this email you received is in jest, I'll have a chuckle, give you a pat on the back and attend to my own barbecue in which I will prepare myself.

[dave351cid]

: : :

[Walkinshaw]

distinct lack of beer delivery....

[Falcon Coupe]

Originally Posted by My Wife

That whole article is dead true

[capriv8]

Well those BBQ rules are exactly how a BBQ happens at our place but when its written down like that it does seem a little one sided, but thinking about other BBQs we have attended at friends places over the years the above rules all seem to apply to them as well. I have never cooked in our kitchen but would happily pour my wife a wine and set the table while she is cooking and then clean up, but as soon as we fire the BBQ up the complete opposite happens.

[uranium_death]

If you get beer, make sure you get good beer and not Victoria Bitter or Carlton Draught, or at that, anything brewed by Carlton and United Breweries.

Good meat deserves good beer.

Gotta get kebabs, and Country style rissoles from Safeway/Woolworths. Delightful!

[Riksta]

Originally Posted by Walkinshaw

distinct lack of beer delivery....

Totally agree.

There needs to be at least twenty more beer deliveries in that, or the BBQ wouldn't end up cooked from the man having to collect his own beer!

[vanman_75]

i think i owe the missus an apology

[Charliewool]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

If you get beer, make sure you get good beer and not Victoria Bitter or Carlton Draught, or at that, anything brewed by Carlton and United Breweries.

Good meat deserves good beer.

Gotta get kebabs, and Country style rissoles from Safeway/Woolworths. Delightful!

So Uranium Death, just WHAT beer would you recommend to go with your gluten free giardiniera marinated Venison tenderloin?
I suppose some yuppie low carb beer like Pure Blonde - tasteless and over priced?
Or maybe a Corona, a San Miguel, a Stella Artois or some other equally repulsive ****y girlie beer?
VB is THE true aussie BBQ beer! If it's a little of "up-market", formal type Barbie, then naturally the Crownies come out! (preferably if a guest has kicked the front door with a case of em!)
Boutique beers are for blokes that may as well put on a dress and start growing breasts.

[rodderz]

The only thing that I dont cook on the barbie are the shrooms, vegies or sweet potato's. If it's not meat, it's not a barbie!

[MYVYSS]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

If you get beer, make sure you get good beer and not Victoria Bitter or Carlton Draught, or at that, anything brewed by Carlton and United Breweries.

Good meat deserves good beer.

Gotta get kebabs, and Country style rissoles from Safeway/Woolworths. Delightful!

this is why BBQ'ing is dying, you DONT buy your meat from a supermarket, you find a decent BUTCHER and get them fresh, You then also cook, Potatoe's (thinly sliced), capcisum, carrot and spanish onion on the hot plate, along with some full corn or that, steaks should be cooked medium/rare so as they are just pink, along with some form of Sausages!!!, I agree kebabs are great but Rissoles/Hamburgers should be home made with fresh and good ingredients!.

As for the beer, who cares as long as its cold and flowing.

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by charliewool

So Uranium Death, just WHAT beer would you recommend to go with your gluten free giardiniera marinated Venison tenderloin?
I suppose some yuppie low carb beer like Pure Blonde - tasteless and over priced?
Or maybe a Corona, a San Miguel, a Stella Artois or some other equally repulsive ****y girlie beer?
VB is THE true aussie BBQ beer! If it's a little of "up-market", formal type Barbie, then naturally the Crownies come out! (preferably if a guest has kicked the front door with a case of em!)
Boutique beers are for blokes that may as well put on a dress and start growing breasts.

Well said mate,nothing wrong with VB,crownies are good for weddings and stuff.
In fact I go so far as to push anyone bringing fancy beer to one of my bbq's in the pool,and then chucking their fancy ponce beer over the fence into the overgrown lantana..
Hey uranium_death want to come to one of my barbies?

[TATT2]

I dont even own a BBQ, sad i know

[uranium_death]

VB and Crownies taste metallic and are totally non-pure.

I prefer Coopers anyday, as well as Cascade or Boags.

One of my faves is Cascade Amber Ale.

I go to the GFC B&F every year at the Crown Palladium and when given the choice between VB or Sterling, I go Sterling because when I tasted the VB (first time in 6 years), I thought the bloke urinated in my glass. It had no head and tasted terrible.

I don't touch Pure Blonde because it is low carb. I don't touch Stella, Heineken, Becks, Carlsberg or Becks because they are Australian brewed garbage.

IMO, Crownies are the most overpriced beer I've ever had.

German beer can be bought for less, is cleaner and use better ingredients.

Boutique...hot dog!

I also don't eat venison. It's beef and lamb ahoy for me. So cut the crap.

[SPK-250]

Originally Posted by charliewool

So Uranium Death, just WHAT beer would you recommend to go with your gluten free giardiniera marinated Venison tenderloin?
I suppose some yuppie low carb beer like Pure Blonde - tasteless and over priced?
Or maybe a Corona, a San Miguel, a Stella Artois or some other equally repulsive ****y girlie beer?
VB is THE true aussie BBQ beer! If it's a little of "up-market", formal type Barbie, then naturally the Crownies come out! (preferably if a guest has kicked the front door with a case of em!)
Boutique beers are for blokes that may as well put on a dress and start growing breasts.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

[uranium_death]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Boutique beers are for blokes that may as well put on a dress and start growing breasts.

Try telling that to the people who pay $6 for Corona, with their slice of lemon.

For an extra dollar you can get a Leffe at some places. Poles apart.

[Bax]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

VB and Crownies taste metallic and are totally non-pure.

I prefer Coopers anyday, as well as Cascade or Boags.

One of my faves is Cascade Amber Ale.

I go to the GFC B&F every year at the Crown Palladium and when given the choice between VB or Sterling, I go Sterling because when I tasted the VB (first time in 6 years), I thought the bloke urinated in my glass. It had no head and tasted terrible.

I don't touch Pure Blonde because it is low carb. I don't touch Stella, Heineken, Becks, Carlsberg or Becks because they are Australian brewed garbage.

IMO, Crownies are the most overpriced beer I've ever had.

German beer can be bought for less, is cleaner and use better ingredients.

Boutique...hot dog!

I also don't eat venison. It's beef and lamb ahoy for me. So cut the crap.

Agreeing with that post entirely.
I hate seeing people fork out cash to buy crownies because they love the taste. They love the image not the taste.

If I wear a dress and have large breasts then so be it, I'd rather that then drinking something that tastes like just because it makes me a man.

[phoonfan]

Originally Posted by charliewool

So Uranium Death, just WHAT beer would you recommend to go with your gluten free giardiniera marinated Venison tenderloin?
I suppose some yuppie low carb beer like Pure Blonde - tasteless and over priced?
Or maybe a Corona, a San Miguel, a Stella Artois or some other equally repulsive ****y girlie beer?
Boutique beers are for blokes that may as well put on a dress and start growing breasts.

LOL!!!

For all those with the above taste, there is a web site to help you overcome your issues!!!

www.mancans.com.au

: :

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by Bax

Agreeing with that post entirely.
I hate seeing people fork out cash to buy crownies because they love the taste. They love the image not the taste.

Ummmm,now isnt that subjective?

Some people love the taste of olives other hate them..

I could argue that people who drink "boutique" beers do so for the metrosexual image and convince themselves they taste good because of it,everyone I have tried taste like crap.

Now make sure you get matching knickers and bra for your dress,no shame in it,it is 2007 after all :

[blueoval]

As long as it gets ya drunk who cares? Bring out the metho if gets ya rocks off. :P

BBQ's are my favourite thing to cook.

1" thick rump & porterhouse is my forte. Cooked medium/rare with all the herbs and spices and cracked pepper.

Potatoes sliced thinly as mentioned earlier, and the old beer drenched onions to finish off with.
:sm_drool:

[Bax]

Agreed nugget, unfortunately for metro's, they fall into the same category as emo's.

As for BBQ's. I've been getting into the old Chavli's or whatever they're called, Skinless sausages drowned in Garlic. Or butcher snags, there's a few local ones, guiness etc that taste quite nice. Lamb/Rosemary Garlic snags.

But usually thick steak Medium rare, mushrooms and onion. Chop's go alright too, especially with some mint. I only usually marinate steak if it's thin cheap stuff.

[uranium_death]

Well to clear the crap up, I don't drink metrosexual beers. I drink real beer from real breweries that have real flavour. If I want to drink beer-flavoured soft drink, I'll go to Mexico and live at the Corona factory.

My point was that for the about the same price, there are superior beers. Heineken, Stella, Becks etc. are all mass produced and mass marketed and IMO, most beers that are mass-marketed are crappo.

Trappists make great beer, as does Belgium on a whole. Ales all the way!

I reckon Kangaroo is great, but it needs a good marinade. It does have a unique flavour but with some diane sauce, it is top notch. But it does burn easily.

[blueoval]

anyone done a pig on the spit?

[Riksta]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

VB and Crownies taste metallic and are totally non-pure.

I prefer Coopers anyday, as well as Cascade or Boags.

Coopers = the best.

Crownies are alright, but don't even compare to the Coopers Sparkling.

How anybody could ever drink VB is beyond me. I had a mouthful of it once, and never again will I put such a vile drink into my mouth.

[phoonfan]

yeah but i cant recall her name!!!

[Sourbastard]

as a home brewer, i will wade into this. Taste is in the eye of the beholder and is the only reason to drink a beer. And just because the beer doesnt come from a megaswill factory with Carlton United painted on the side, doesnt make it girly nor gay nor metrosexual. If you dont drink for taste nor perceived image, you are called an alcoholic.

The Boutique beer industry is a hard one, your only real way to advertise is word of mouth, as you will never match the advertising power of MegaSwill©. So your product has to not only be good, it has to be effing good for it to get anywhere near mainstream booze resellers.

Megaswill© on the other hand is produced by a tribe of primates whos idea of quality control is washing their feet before swimming through Vat number 8.

[Tles]

Nothing wrong with VB that cannot be fixed with another VB or a Bundy - good reliable honest beer which if you can't drink you probably haven't earned with physical labour - no beer works as well after some hard yakka or game. Melbourne or Carlton come close but no cigar.

If the first thing you've done for the day was choose which designer Tshirt best matches your Mrs getup then any premium product will go down a treat.

If it's stinkin hot then a Cascade or Boags will be on the money, Coldie if you have to. They also work onion a treat. Hammer n tongs is good drinking too (Boags for Coles)

Beezneez or Redback are good instead of a red, Asahi or any of the extradrys too.

[Bax]

Originally Posted by blueoval

anyone done a pig on the spit?

Ages ago yes, bloody delicious, and I've been meaning to do one again for a long time. Just never get around too it.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by Bax

Ages ago yes, bloody delicious, and I've been meaning to do one again for a long time. Just never get around too it.

Its certainly a must do for me in future. Problem is apart from skewering a dead pig up the bum with a steel rod, what else are ya supposed to do to prepare it?