This kid will go far

[normell]

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and
they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was
in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO
50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of
the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously
wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be
doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries

[EFFalcon]

Bwahahahahah

[fiery]

an oldie but a goodie :

could you seriously imagine being successful if you put all that into an application

[DOC]

True story, many years ago i submitted a reference for a job that was along similar lines, it was written as joke by my then current boss. Something like doesnt show up on time, never works, chases the girls, plays with his cars etc etc,

I got the job hands down, the boss didnt believe it when he read it and agreed it took guts to submit it, but it did stand out from the crowd.

[max^power]

No wonder I didn't get that job i applied for at Defence last month :

Time to update my resume

[JD86]

lol funny bastard