Moving On (From a Break Up Success Stories)

revhead24ads · 25-07-2006, 11:13 AM

Hey guys, as you might have read in other threads and posts ive gone through a rough break up in the past few months and im trying to move forward. I was hoping i might be able to get some success stories of you moving on from a break up, dont get too personal if you dont feel comfortable. Maybe say things like how long you were with your partner and then how long it took you to get over it and what you did to successfully move on.

I hope this thread is recieved well and not looked at in a bad light.

CBR600RR · 25-07-2006, 11:26 AM

Time heals all ... or at least makes it hurt less, and less often.

Keep yourself occupied with other stuff if you can, so that you don't spend too much time hurting.

You'll be right. ;)

pb02 · 25-07-2006, 11:38 AM

My last relationship was pretty rough. I put a lot of time and effort in and received very little back. It was one of those relationships that wasn't healthy and people told me but I just couldn't see it. She went overseas and dumped me for no apparent reason. I was shattered...... I didn't want to go out, or have anything to do with girls.

A few months after I had an opportunity to meet up with a pen pal of mine from overseas. I said I was too busy and didn't have time (I was still really depressed at this stage). She phoned again later that week and I though, how stupid of me to turn down a friend because I felt bad over a break up...

Long story short we met up and had an absolute ball. Three months later I went overseas to visit her and we started up a long distance relationship. In 6 weeks we will be getting married overseas and I honestly couldn't be happier. Best thing to happen to me in my life....

So I guess my message for you is don't get hung up on what has happened as you might miss out on an opportunity that's right in front of you.... Life can be strange but I now look back on that crap relationship as one of the best things that happened because of what I have now!

smally289 · 25-07-2006, 11:41 AM

Unfortunately it takes time. Dont do anything stupid like hittin the pi$$ too hard or jumping the next thing that comes by on 2 legs.
Do what I did and get stuck into working on your car and hanging with your mates.
It helps if you have a close friend that you can talk to as well.
Take some relief in knowing that she is probably hurting too.

GUTLES · 25-07-2006, 12:05 PM

It's never fun breaking up, especially when your not the one wanting to end it. As smally351 said don't hit the grog too hard but have fun with mates & do things you like doing to keep your self busy so your not thinking about it constantly.. Don't do what alot of us do & bag her to all your mates & ring her constantly it only makes things worse for the both of you.. It does get easier, it took me 6 months to feel happy again after a 3 year relationship & thats when she realised she had made a mistake, but it took me 18 months to realise I still wanted her, we've now been together for a total of 6 years, have a 14 month old girl, brought a block of land 2 1/2 years ago & house will be completed within a month..

Good luck.

Bucket · 25-07-2006, 02:10 PM

Or be like me...end "ok" but then argue after the break up and both decide its better not to talk at all...

: i was a fool to think we could stay friends
Surround yourself with positive people in your life...get out, do the things that your ex normally wouldnt approve of (not stupid things though)
It gets better, its taken me 6 or so weeks but im getting there- you start to think about them less and less

GOLDIE · 25-07-2006, 02:20 PM

I have been there before first marriage lasted 8 years together for nearly 10.

The best thing is to just get out there and enjoy life don't get down on yourself things like this happen.

Just find things you like doing and enjoy yourself.

Ian

efgoofy · 25-07-2006, 03:00 PM

With an ex for 7 years, broke up badly. not a pretty picture, anyways, about 6 months alter, meet my current wife and now we have a 6 month old boy, all things come to those who wait.

Miss_XR6 · 25-07-2006, 03:06 PM

my last relationship was pretty bad it was while i was living and working overseas too so didnt have family or friends around either put everything into it and got nothing back.. lost money, friends, my life it was pretty bad spent most nights crying
finally decided to move back home and was about 3 months before i forgot about him now im in a new relationship which is so much better

25-07-2006, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBR600RR

Time heals all ... or at least makes it hurt less, and less often.

Keep yourself occupied with other stuff if you can, so that you don't spend too much time hurting.

You'll be right. ;)

Probably the best possible advice you can get.

Keeping yourself busy with other things and people will help.

Good luck.

elgt146 · 25-07-2006, 03:43 PM

What good timing this is !!

My partner has just ended a 13 year relationship. We have 2 x daughters aged 6 & 8. This only happenned last week.

Firstly must say our relationship always felt like we were best friends and I think that was the problem. We never had fights, never argued, both had our freedom to do or go wherever. Everything was perfect except one thing. That one thing I can't say what it is but just that something was missing.

She wasn't happy for a long time without showing it and now I look at it I don't think I was either.

We had the perfect family but there was just something missing... Can't explain what it is though.

It is weird. I feel sad about it but at the same time feel relieved. Also a little angry. Mixed.

The hard part is finding a new routine, friends, things to do out of the normal and getting on with life as a single person.

You feel a bit lost.

The hard thing for me will be not having the children by my side and seeing & feeling the small things that a weekend visit wont give. A kiss before bed, a laugh when they do something, making their lunch. It is these small things we take for granted that we should look at each day as precious.

Anyway I have a dog and a cat so they will get looked after a bit more now.

My ex still lives in the house in another room until we find a place for her & the girls. We are both still talking and remain good friends. I think this is important with children involved.

And for those interested, she said keep the house, keep the furniture and doesn't want any money. I have offered to set her up in a new place with some furniture and whitegoods and she has accepted. I have supported her for all these years and allowed her to do as she pleases and I think this now shows at a time like this. It also shows what a good, understanding person she is. I would help her in anyway if she asked.

On another note she hated cars so that is one problem out of the way.. lol

Life goes on, it isn't the end of the world.

Now I am just waiting for my Blonde 21 year old DD to come into my life and one who likes cars

Outbackjack · 25-07-2006, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgt146

And for those interested, she said keep the house, keep the furniture and doesn't want any money. I have offered to set her up in a new place with some furniture and whitegoods and she has accepted. I have supported her for all these years and allowed her to do as she pleases and I think this now shows at a time like this. It also shows what a good, understanding person she is. I would help her in anyway if she asked.

Sorry if I sound cynical, but this will change.
I hope you are right, you know her better than anyone. I have seen this so many times.

Good luck.

XRated · 25-07-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucket

Or be like me...end "ok" but then argue after the break up and both decide its better not to talk at all...

: i was a fool to think we could stay friends
Surround yourself with positive people in your life...get out, do the things that your ex normally wouldnt approve of (not stupid things though)
It gets better, its taken me 6 or so weeks but im getting there- you start to think about them less and less

Hehe the problem when my last serious relationship ended was that she was insecure about not finding someone better (and she won't anyway hahaha :P). So I was given hope, treated like crap, lied to etc.

I finally put my foot down and stopped talking to her full-stop. It's hard after being together over five years but nothing else worked.

I started doing things I normally couldn't be bothered with and seeing friends more. I've become closer to a lot more people and also made new friends in the time that I normally wouldn't have had the opportunity to do so. I also turned everything into positives.. Don't sit around all day glum it'll only make things take longer.

I cannot stress how cliche the saying, "time heals all." But it's so true! It's annoying to hear sometimes but nothing heals like time.

GRNKPR · 25-07-2006, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgt146

What good timing this is !!

My partner has just ended a 13 year relationship. We have 2 x daughters aged 6 & 8. This only happenned last week.

Firstly must say our relationship always felt like we were best friends and I think that was the problem. We never had fights, never argued, both had our freedom to do or go wherever. Everything was perfect except one thing. That one thing I can't say what it is but just that something was missing.

She wasn't happy for a long time without showing it and now I look at it I don't think I was either.

We had the perfect family but there was just something missing... Can't explain what it is though.

It is weird. I feel sad about it but at the same time feel relieved. Also a little angry. Mixed.

The hard part is finding a new routine, friends, things to do out of the normal and getting on with life as a single person.

You feel a bit lost.

The hard thing for me will be not having the children by my side and seeing & feeling the small things that a weekend visit wont give. A kiss before bed, a laugh when they do something, making their lunch. It is these small things we take for granted that we should look at each day as precious.

Anyway I have a dog and a cat so they will get looked after a bit more now.

My ex still lives in the house in another room until we find a place for her & the girls. We are both still talking and remain good friends. I think this is important with children involved.

And for those interested, she said keep the house, keep the furniture and doesn't want any money. I have offered to set her up in a new place with some furniture and whitegoods and she has accepted. I have supported her for all these years and allowed her to do as she pleases and I think this now shows at a time like this. It also shows what a good, understanding person she is. I would help her in anyway if she asked.

On another note she hated cars so that is one problem out of the way.. lol

Life goes on, it isn't the end of the world.

Now I am just waiting for my Blonde 21 year old DD to come into my life and one who likes cars

put me down for a 21yo DD aswell

:

on a seious note i have just been through the same myself 9 months ago after 17 years .I have had a lot of good people around me to get me through this difficult time and you find out how good friendships are luckily there were no kids involved or any other person we just fell apart,she loved cars and used to race all the cars i had with me and sometimes scaringly good.We still talk and get on alright as we have properties and cars together .It just came to a time in her life and she needed change ,no use arguing as we never did but whats the use trying to stay together if one wants out

i have tried to turn this into a positive and am goinggoing out with new people as well as my good friends ,the problem i have is i was with someone when they were single i wasnt but theyre all got somene and now i dont so it makes it a little hard to go out all the time with them and i understand that >so i have had to meet new people and have ,its hard at the start i felt lost aswell and the fisrt women after this i went out with was good at first ,we went out for lunch 4 5 times and then we went out and had a few drinks ,well this is were it all turned too**** she was a madwomen and i got out

i waslucky to have good friends to help me through and my frienships have got stronger with these people as i went a little AWOL at the start and to have these people around me pulled me through >it was also hard as we had a lot of mutual friends and this is still sorting itself out

Best of luck with it your not the only one but stay positive and keep busy there will be times when it gets too much but carry on tomorrow is another day

your story is so close to what i went through it was like reading my diary and have some time for yourself and don t jump into another relationship straight away there is others out there """KEEPERS and PLAYTHINGS """""" ENJOY

**Charliewool** · 26-07-2006, 08:11 AM

It IS HARD.. But it can ALSO feel like a weights been lifted.

I am ALMOST the big FiveO, and it is that time in your life where you always thought you'd be slowing down a little, sitting back and enjoying what you'd strived for! Sometimes it doesn't pan out like you planned though!
I'm presently in the final throes of a 26yr long marriage.. The house is sold, (settles next Monday) the assetts divided, super halved, child payments agreed on, and both about to move into rental units.

There are two ways to take it all!..
One is to wallow in self pity, to let the loss of all the material stuff (Nice house, cars, superannuation, security etc) weigh you down & make you bitter. It is SO easy to take this course!
The other way is to look at it as a whole new lease of life.. one that's exciting and filled with new challenges & opportunities! Treat it like a canary that's been let out of his cage of comfort. Ok, you'll need to feed and look out for yourself, but you'll be free to fly wherever you want!
You must also get the words "blame" or "fault" out of your head!.. It does neither party any good pointing the finger.. After 26 yrs, I'm sure there's PLENTY of fault on BOTH sides! Why go through the anguish of searching for every example? As the saying goes, it DOES take two to tango!

Sometimes it really IS better to make the decision to get out of a relationship that's grown apart, and is irreconcilable, than to simply go through the motions and stay together in misery because of reasons like "the children" or because it all seems too hard to contemplate splitting!
How many past generation couples, (My own parents for one) stayed together to death, and lived years & years unhappily together simply because that was THE WAY it was done?
We only get one short crack here on earth, and are a bloody long time dead... Why not be able to enjoy?

:

Dodge · 26-07-2006, 08:50 AM

i lost my wife of 10 yrs and my 2 kids 3 and 6 this year, she took all the good stuff and the money from the account, I am left with in the home and now paying the morgage and child support, I only miss the kids but not her, I have a on/off girlfriend at the mo which my X really hates because she tells me i always look for female attention, (shes right) i need females in my life to prove im not gay LOL
I was going to go to thailand for a f#@K fest b4 i met this girl to get the female thing out of my system. The best thing u can do when u break up is to love urself and be urself again and not sit around thinking about the past . I know its hard but life goes on and the price of classic cars keeps going up.
I am on msm as metalfab@hotmail.com if u want to have a laugh on thoes quite nights alone. also RSVP is a good place to find that 21 yr old DD girl until u meet her and shes stolen that pic from a mag .

XA Coupsta · 26-07-2006, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smally351

Do what I did and get stuck into working on your car and hanging with your mates.

Man I reckon that is gold that advice.

I cant give you any help on this one unfortunately as luckily I havent had it happen to me (yet?! joke). But that edited clip of smally351 sums it up for me.

Good luck mate.

Coupsta

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 11:55 AM

My last relationship - which ended just after x-mass last - went for about 2 years and ended with me in hospital and unconcious for 4 days in the week prior to x-mass eve. No she didn't back over me with her car 32 times, it was more a case of being drugged unknowingly. So when I stopped playing footy - it really took hold apparently I had enough to knock out 3 grown men...
Anyway, I broke up with her immediately after I found it to be her - and from there it was a rollercoaster of emotions, pain, fighting and angry threats - best thing I ever did was move to Yeppoon (rockhampton) from brisbane - I mean brisbane is pretty big, but not quite big enough to get away from the things and people that reminded me of quite possibly could have been the most horrible 2 years of my life, as it later came out that she had been sleeping around to try and get herself pregnant so she wouldn't lose me - as I had plans of having kids after marriage, but wasn't quite ready to take that step... I'm not suggesting for one minute that running away solves all your problems, however, the old saying of out of site out of mind is definately one that has held true for me.

Chin up dude, it does get better - but as I have posted in another thread in the pub, the question is how does one meet another that won't do the same that the last did, or at least be a fraction less psycho - maybe its true the good guys always finish last... I say, have a big boys night out on the town. Get drunk, pass out anywhere you won't get arressted, keep working on the car, or anything that keeps your hands and mind busy and forget about her...
I'm not

Ringo · 26-07-2006, 01:32 PM

Ok - here is my story.

Broke up with G/F of 6 years. I was 18 and she was few years older than me. She *****ed with my head quite a bit. Early on our relationship was great, very cosy, very private, we were living our own world and hell I was no no longer a virgin so I was feeling great!. Then after a few years the gloss wore off and she got manipulaitve, demanding, wouldn't compromise etc and things got a bit tougher and the relationship was turning negative and dysfunctional. Then she fell pregnant, didn't tell me, and ended miscarrying at 3 or 4 months. I found out afterwards. She had ongoing complication from the miscarrige which I never understood and I was always kept at arms length on these girly type matters. We stopped trying and working on the relationship. She was using me for money, I was trying to ease myself off the guilt trip which she used against me regulalry. What can you say to a girl in that situation?? I never knew. We stopped trying and working on the relationship and it fell apart. In the final few time we were together she admitted she had been lying to me about some things.....for about the last 3-4 years....we split and I felt free. I look back on it and still can't figure out what was true and what was a lie, I can't believe anything was as it seemed because she was an actress deserving of an oscar and never dropped her guard. These questions still ***** with my head to this day and they will never be answered. Was she ever really pregnant? Was it all an act to get money out of me? When she said X Y Z was she telling the truth?....who knows.

Mrs Ringo has a similar story of living with a bloke for a few years who was leading a bit of a double life. He did a real number on her and she swore off men for ever kicking him out.

It was 6 months after I split from 'Miss Needy' (my ex) and 12 months since she split with 'Stupid' (her ex) when we met. We realised we had something. We shared our experiences over a few bottles of wine. We were equally horrified of each others story and that someone could do that to another person. We both swore we were not going to make the same mistakes again. We made a pact to put the lessons learnt into our new relationship. Mrs Ringo is the opposite of Miss Needy in almost everyway as I am different from 'Stupid'.....

We got married 2 years ago and have been together for 5 years now. She still rocks my world. She's special.

My point is that as much as this hurts, if you have learnt anything about relationships from it then apply it to the next girl who rocks you world...

Public self harm benders make you look stupid and emotionally unstable, do in private or with good mates who will understand and put you to bed with a bucket when you have had enough and cook you greasy eggs and bacon in the morning.....good luck bloke - love is a battlefield

devilracer_01 · 26-07-2006, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elgt146

What good timing this is !!

My partner has just ended a 13 year relationship. We have 2 x daughters aged 6 & 8. This only happenned last week.

Firstly must say our relationship always felt like we were best friends and I think that was the problem. We never had fights, never argued, both had our freedom to do or go wherever. Everything was perfect except one thing. That one thing I can't say what it is but just that something was missing.

She wasn't happy for a long time without showing it and now I look at it I don't think I was either.

We had the perfect family but there was just something missing... Can't explain what it is though.

It is weird. I feel sad about it but at the same time feel relieved. Also a little angry. Mixed.

The hard part is finding a new routine, friends, things to do out of the normal and getting on with life as a single person.

You feel a bit lost.

The hard thing for me will be not having the children by my side and seeing & feeling the small things that a weekend visit wont give. A kiss before bed, a laugh when they do something, making their lunch. It is these small things we take for granted that we should look at each day as precious.

Anyway I have a dog and a cat so they will get looked after a bit more now.

My ex still lives in the house in another room until we find a place for her & the girls. We are both still talking and remain good friends. I think this is important with children involved.

And for those interested, she said keep the house, keep the furniture and doesn't want any money. I have offered to set her up in a new place with some furniture and whitegoods and she has accepted. I have supported her for all these years and allowed her to do as she pleases and I think this now shows at a time like this. It also shows what a good, understanding person she is. I would help her in anyway if she asked.

On another note she hated cars so that is one problem out of the way.. lol

Life goes on, it isn't the end of the world.

Now I am just waiting for my Blonde 21 year old DD to come into my life and one who likes cars

Know exactly what you mean mate, after I seperated from my wife Im like WTF, and it is all the small things you miss with your children, I was very involved with my daughter went and listened to the children read in her class etc but once my ex wife and I seperated couldnt do it anymore, your whole life changes, its a very sad situation to go through.

its good to share though and hear other peoples experiences.