the loss of a child - Page 3

chich · 12-11-2008, 11:05 PM

Can't really say anything more than what has already been said..

Deepest condolenses to you & your wife.

vanman_75 · 13-11-2008, 01:09 AM

tomorrow is another day ,looking forward to having my love in bed with me again i didnt think i would miss it as much as i have .she went for a walk today ,slowly and steady .the babies at the hospital are starting too play on us a little so home will be welcome .

68XTFairmont · 13-11-2008, 02:21 AM

Vanman I want to offer my condolences to you and your wife.

Unfortunately I am one of the many that know what you are going through, I lost one of my twin boys shortly after birth in 1995, Things do get a little easier with time but the next short period of time will be the hardest thing you ever go through in life. As everybody has said be there for your wife through this time as she will need it but also allow others to be there for you. Us Males can at times forget that it is ok to cry and ask for help and it is good to see that you have found an outlet and some comfort on here.

Take each day as it comes and push through as things will slowly start to get easier to deal with.

R.I.P. Chloe

Shane

EGOBFXR6 · 13-11-2008, 02:47 AM

I'm so sorry mate...

vanman_75 · 13-11-2008, 08:49 AM

its probably a bit late but my name is Terry & my wife is sandra .going up to the hospital now .we have some hard little decisions and such today ,sandra should be coming out of hospital .which i am looking forward to in so many little ways .till later thanks

MotherNatureVer2 · 13-11-2008, 09:05 AM

Terry and Sandra,

Our family too are touched by what you are going through. You are in our thoughts and prayers. One expects that in this day and age that once pregnant you come home with a baby and this, as shown by the replies to this thread, is not always the case.

I have been through similar although never went to almost term, my daughter had a twin that wasnt born. As hard as it is right now & I know it will sometimes seem insurmountable you can go forward with Chloe in your heart.

Terry, hold Sandra tight when you get home today. Sandra, hold Terry tight when you get home today. Be there for each other.

mr_xr8 · 13-11-2008, 12:12 PM

deepest condolence's to you both

KR1STO · 13-11-2008, 12:16 PM

my most deepest condolences to you and your wife... this has really tugged on the heart strings...
hang in there, be strong,
my thoughts are with you both..
kris

Bucket · 13-11-2008, 12:38 PM

I can't even begin to empathise with something so traumatic..
My Girlfriend and I talk about having Children one day, and you tend not to think about the negative possibilities...you just don't want to even contemplate it.
To live through it is just unimaginable. My sincerest condolences.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sure you're little one is safe in a better place.

vanman_75 · 14-11-2008, 12:01 AM

it has been a long day ,finally got my wife home after waiting for the doctors clearance.we just got into bed and i asked if she would like to read your replies so we re read them together .i will reply to some of you via pm after we get home as i feel some of you could help .we have finalized all the cremation now so no more of that.the service will be in hervey bay on monday at 11 am . friends have been great .thanks again and talk soon we both appreciate all the kind words .
terry and sandra

SVR73 · 14-11-2008, 02:06 AM

God bless you terry. It has been an extremely sad end to this day with reading about the loss of craig christerson and now your very special chloe

I have never experienced the loss of a child so I cannot imagine what you must be going through but I was all in tears after reading this, as though it was my child, family member or friend. I absolutely lost it but I guess thats just the way god made me. the sad loss hits me head on.

Why god chooses to take some so young to his great kingdom is unknown but I certainly do believe that god has a plan for chloe and for you and your wife.
She is there with him in the best place there is and brightening up his kingdom

You will see your lovely chloe one day and for all eternity, some don't believe in christianity but I've cheated certain death twice ( I was clinically dead the second time but came back and began breathing again) only by gods saving hand and both at a very young age and I know that god has a plan for all of us and great blessing is in store for those that believe.

Now is the time to trust him, ask him for strength to get through this very difficult time. god is awesome at keeping his promises and giving to us what good things we ask for.

Hard times, suffering and pain come (sometimes more often for others) because god wants each of us to grow, not to settle where we are

I am praying for you now.
it is so nice to see others posting such beatiful words and acknowledging god.
certainly shows the great community that is ford forums.

Becker_11 · 14-11-2008, 03:03 AM

VanMan, as unbelievable as it may seem, the pain will gradually lessen. It will never go away completely but life will get easier in time. My little girl would have turned 15 at the end of this month. She only lasted the 11 minutes it took for the doctors to call her death.

Talk to the funeral home and see if they will let you dress Chloe, perhaps put in photos, small toy etc to keep her company. And by all means take a million photos of her and hold her as much as you can because if you don't you will wish later that you had.

Be there for your wife but just as importantly be there for yourself. Find support that you can lean on when you are feeling down. If that can be your wife then that's great. If not find someone else. Also look at joining a support group like SANDS. The hospital should be able to point you in the right direction.

This is going to be what would be one of the hardest times in your life. If you feel like yelling and screaming or beating the living daylights out of a boxing bag then do it because keeping it all locked up inside will only make it worse.

My thoughts are with you and your wife. This poem is on a statue near my daughter's grave. I have always found it to help:

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Narelle and Nathaniel

Pinch · 14-11-2008, 09:42 AM

Terry and Sandra

My sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and Sandra. I cannot imagine to know what you are going through. There has already been some great advice and sentiments form the community here, and I don’t think there is much I can add but to let you know that you Sandra and Chloe are also in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care.

Andrew

vanman_75 · 14-11-2008, 01:58 PM

more and more calls are coming from all over ,all are special ,tying up the loose ends for monday now .weekend will be a time to reflect before her big day .thanks to all .

psychoticgroove · 14-11-2008, 02:26 PM

RIP lil sista, fly with the angels now.....

davez104 · 14-11-2008, 10:43 PM

Good to hear that Sandra is home. I guess you've heard from a lot of our coworkers, if not, they all send their condolences and best wishes.

The three of us will be with you on Monday, and I'll give you a call tomorrow, mid morning, don't want to wake anyone up.

Talk soon.

Dave.

Steve · 14-11-2008, 11:26 PM

I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss Vanman. I haven't read this whole thread so forgive me if I'm repeating someone else.

My sister lost her little girl last week as well. Little Jasmine was diagnosed with an extremely severe form of Cystic Fibrosis and a bowel complication requiring major surgery. The poor thing never had a chance.

As terrible as this may sound, your little Chloe and Jasmine didn't deserve to be put through the pain that life would have meant. They're both at peace now.

My heart feels for you and your wife. Your pain will ease but Chloe will be your little angel always.

XRT-HOWSEE · 14-11-2008, 11:34 PM

My deepest Condolences to you both.

I work in a Neonatal Critical Care Unit, so I can relate somewhat to your situation. Having said that I cannot fathom how you or your wife manage the emotions that you would be feeling at a time like this, yet alone dealing with such a terrible loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers, keep each other strong and rest in the knowledge that Chloe is safe in the hands of the Lord.

RIP Chloe

vanman_75 · 15-11-2008, 12:27 AM

my wife had a close friend come and spend the day with her ,just left .family are starting to close in its all becoming so real .flowers grace the dutchess ,cards with warm words of friendship.holding back the tears a little better for now ,but much more to come as friends and family arrive .good night and thankyou all again you have all touched us

Spudz27 · 15-11-2008, 08:02 PM

Oh man I must admit your story brought a tear to my eye. Very sorry for your loss.
.

xrstevo · 16-11-2008, 03:48 PM

i agree with EDfutura25, this story has brought a tear to my eye.

im very sorry to hear about your loss. life is very unfair at times.

the deepest Condolence's and i hope everything works out in the future.

sorry mate.

**TUF_302** · 16-11-2008, 07:11 PM

You poor bloke! im so so sorry for this!, i cant imagine how you must feel!

this story also brought a tear to my eyes, so sad

Turboconvert · 16-11-2008, 08:34 PM

I dont know what to say so I shall keep it simple, the both of you have my condolences also. Even though I do not know what you two are going through.....

68XTFairmont · 17-11-2008, 02:21 AM

Terry and Sandra today is going to an extremely tough day for both of you. Be strong for each other and take as much comfort from family and friends as needed.

My thoughts will be with you today.

Shane

vanman_75 · 17-11-2008, 09:17 AM

its very quiet and it looks like its gunna rain, today is her day . i dont have much to say but thanks again all .

Becker_11 · 17-11-2008, 09:28 AM

Terry and Sandra

My thoughts are with you today,

R.I.P. Chloe

GTP534 · 17-11-2008, 04:58 PM

Hi Terry and Sandra,

My thoughts and prayers are with you today. Spend time together and just take it a day at a time. God bless little Chloe, she is at peace.

vanman_75 · 18-11-2008, 12:12 AM

today we celebrated chloes life .the support from friends was more than we could ever expect. today we can start to move forward .i want to thank everyone again for their support and my release .it has meant a lot to us .its sad that it takes a time like this to bring friends together ,but we will be much stronger for what life has to throw at us .take time to see your friends and family today ,you just cant understand how much they will be there for you now and always .this has been the hardest day of my life but my girl is at peace now .thankyou again .