Things people just shouldn't.. and i mean SHOULDN'T have said...

[Peuty]

I once had a mate who's Uncles friend owned an ex Perkin Engineering VR V8 Supercar and regularly drove it from the NT to QLD to visit him.

He's not my mate anymore

[RUQ1KA]

back in year 9
i had this guy try to convince me that he was able to get a holden genIII V8 into a honda civic...i tried to convince him it won't fit but he was convinced he had an uncle who dd it and it was a straight swap:P

i let him dream, hopefully one day he'll try this mod and realise i was right

[MrQuan]

Originally Posted by useless

What you said is probably what you believed or felt at the time.Even if you are honestly wrong it was meant to be. So I dont believe it was bad...even though the desired out come did not happen. And as we are human an apology is a good thing.

WTF? You wouldn't happen to be a hippy...?

[JG3282]

Originally Posted by xr8ute

Street Machine lost any and all credibility for me, when they kept referring to the engine in FOX-1 (from Running on Empty) as the "legendary" 440 six-pack hemi......****ers.

As no-one else has picked up on it, this engine was called the Six Pack because it had three 2 barrel carbies on it. Or 6 barrels so to speak.

But on the subject of magazines how about the Ford mag that has a car in it with Mazda badges all over it and a Mazda engine and other Mazda hardware throughout 100% of it.


Ok heres my contribution:

Me: Why don't you put your ute on gas mate?
Bro-in-law: My mechanic told me that ute engines don't run as well on gas as sedan engines do.

Fully sik leb: R31 Skylines are sik moit cos they come out with da holden RB30 engine.

Guy I know: All Commodore from VB to VZ have Nissan engines in them.
Me: I'm no expert on Holdens mate but I reckon only the VL six cylinder engines were made by Nissan. The rest are either Holden or Chev.
Guy I know: You're wrong man, my cousin owns Holden and in 1977 he bought a 50% share in Nissan so he could use their engines.

Fully sik leb: My moits Vee Ell turboss ran 8 seconds on da street with da G-Tech bro. It hooks up betta with slicks down chapz cos Calder is sh!t moit.

Me: You haven't got a twat!
Guy at school: Yes I have!

An ex of mine: I will always love you and I swear I didn't have sex with my sister's boyfriend. That video you saw of me and him f-ing in his car were digitally enhanced.

Me: Mate can you order in a bridgeport cylinder head and some 20b pistons for my 13b rotor?
Performance Shop employee: Ummm let me get my Yella Terra and JE Pistons catalogues.

Chick I dated once: I did a nine second pass in my stock-ish 2.0 litre Pulsar.
Me: What track was that at and can I see your time slip?
Chick I dated once: Oh it was ages ago at this track that closed down and they asked for my time slip back cos it was the World record.

Me: Bro you're turning white
my african-american mate: that's cos I've got a tan.

13 year old Dude from the USA chatting to my younger cousin on msn: Gary Myers shipped his Mustang over here to Dakota so he could chauffeur me to my prom.

Work experience kid: I was doing a driving lesson with my mates mum and she gave me head while I drove 180 k's in peak hour traffic down this piece of road.
*Note: Piece of road was Waverley Rd, Malvern. Notorious for being bumpy, making this story poorly researched for more than one reason :

guy I know: Garth Tander is my dad!

Bob Hawke: No Australian child will be living in poverty by 1990

guy on ICQ: that guy with the Torana that has the plates RUNRVS is my sister's boyfriend and he's a full on lebbo. I told him to get those plates cos they mean Run Revs!
Me: You sound very well connected
guy on ICQ: yeah I also know the guy with the Torana that has PROST6 number plates. he took me for a run in it and it did 8 seconds, then we cruised chapel. the numberplates stand for Alain Prost the F1 driver and the 6 cos its got a 6.0 litre V8 with a six stage NOS kit.
*Note: RUNRVS stands for "Are You Nervous." I know this cos it was my car. I'm not a lebo and my gf of the time did not have a brother. PROST6 was also mine and in fact was the same car with a different paint job and was not exactly street legal to cruise chapel. It had a six cylinder engine with no nitrous and ran 11.2, PROST6 stood for Pro Street 6

dude I used to work with: My Dad's Top Fuel dragster ran 3.78 seconds at 523 mph and he shut it off at 3/4 track.

same dude: I went to this guys house in Craigieburn today and he was rippin mad burnouts on his next door neighbours front lawn cos he's tuff and the nieghbour is too scared to call the cops.
me: really where abouts in Craigieburn cos I live there. it might be someone I know.
same dude: he lives at number 38 [blank] crescent. where do you live.
me: number 40 [blank] crescent!

bloke: my cars got 360 kW
me: at the wheels?
bloke: nar mate at the accelerator!

bludger: I ran my top fuel dragster at Calder last friday night
my mate: really? my mate takes photos out there and he might have taken some of your car.
bludger: ooohhh actually it was another friday night. there were no photographers there.
my mate: my mate is always there.
bludger: actually it wasn't Calder. I just remembered it was actually at Willowbank last sunday.

cronie: my leb mate's VL was factory fitted with a 3.8 litre V6 and it ran 10.7 at Calder last friday night but the readout boards weren't working and they couldn't give him a time slip cos the printer ran out of paper.

me when ****ed allegedly: remember that time we toured the west indies and played in the 1st test. you were unreal mate when you scored 519 off 123 balls.
ex test cricketer: mate I was usually batting at number 11 cos the captain said I was a sh!t batsman.
me when ****ed allegedly: lucky for you that I was captain and let you bat first.

*Note: I wasn't even trying to pick this chick up on Mirc but here's how it went:
< me > next time ya in chapel in about 3 months look out for a light blue turbo falcon
< chapel babii > i am not into fords LOL
< me > what r u into?
< chapel babii > can you be a little more spacific
< me > cars... I mean
< chapel babii > I'm into Holdens, Farrari's, Beemers, Lancers
< me > Ok so you like guys with small d!cks then?
< chapel babii > IgNoRe - I'll have you know my bf's got a huge d!ck and I love big d!cks and that's why you aren't getting any off me - IgNoRe

Another time on Mirc was interesting as well
< nva l8 n a 308 > wats ur ride bro
< me > XF Falcon, soon to get turboed
< nva l8 n a 308 > bwahahahaha
< me > what's so funny
< nva l8 n a 308 > my vk commi 5 lita chops xe's ne time
< me > stands to reason a car with a V8 and less weight to carry will beat a tank with a six
< nva l8 n a 308 > them xe turbs at colder are cant even boost when they run a 10 then u can talk 2 me
< me > there's 4 of them that have run tens
< nva l8 n a 308 > as if they have
< me > they have billy 10.40, jase 10.43, john 10.80 and another one in queensland ran 10.3 a few years ago
< nva l8 n a 308 > as if they have
< me > you already said that
< nva l8 n a 308 > last time i saw them they couldn't get boost and were running 11s
< nva l8 n a 308 > they need huge turbs and nos and efi
< nva l8 n a 308 > get a vk commi, add a 286 cam, 4.11s, holley dp and run 10s all day
< me > need a bit more than that to run a ten
< nva l8 n a 308 > ur mama needs a bit more than that

[MrQuan]

Originally Posted by ONGAS

< nva l8 n a 308 > ur mama needs a bit more than that

Hahaha, the one liner to win all arguments

[Steffo]

I knew this guy who had a 2001 WRX with 19" chrome wheels, a BOV and a cat-back. Virtually stock. One day he's talking to a good mate of mine...

Him: I went to Eastern Creek last night and beat a Funny Car bro! I chopped him!
My mate: Erm.. do you know what a funny car is?
Him: Yeah I do bro! Its them funny looking drag cars! They're slow man.. my WRX rips 'em!
My mate: Yeah um... they run 5's and have blown big-block V8's in the 4000-5000hp range...

End of conversation. It took me quite a while to stop laughing at that one.

[santoitaliano]

i dont want to hear one more person say that their stock POS keeps blowing clutches, diffs, etc..

if this is honestly the case, which i doubt, LEARN TO DRIVE

[JG3282]

I know of an XF that keeps blowing clutches but its more of a case of lack of driving ability than power

[TURBOTAXI]

My XT Falc killed 3 diffs, because I used to slide my foot off the side of the clutch pedal AND they were.... um.... only borg warner diffs. And I was a clown. And it was a 351 with GT cam and big exhaust.

[martO]

I've heard plenty of classics from my dads gf and my bro's gf ....

Bro's GF Classic:

1. I was down in melbourne on work experience at FPV last year, and my family was at QLD raceway. It was a Sunday and i was waiting for the race to be shown on TV. It was delayed by like 2 hours due to AFL coverage. My dad called me on my mobile and asked me to tell him what happened to John Bowe in the first corner when i see the race on tv. Bro's girlfriend then says .. what, does he see it before us? ... ahahhaha ... they are watching the real thing live .. classic

2. Being a Big brother fan .. are both logans 21 ? ( rofl .. they are twins )

Dads GF Classics:

1. Texted my dad one day: " I just saw a black XR in that new blue colour "

2. She works as a courier for a medical laboratory, and once said to me:
" today i had an unborn faeces in my car .... "

I almost died laughing ... she looked at me and said .. what ?

I tried to stop laughing and said .. don't you mean foetus/fetus

[santoitaliano]

is it me or are there much fewer people running 10's, whether they be cousins, friends, neighbor's sister's dog trainer's boyfriend's mother, than there actually are on the track...

[dogbreath_48]

Originally Posted by santoitaliano

is it me or are there much fewer people running 10's, whether they be cousins, friends, neighbor's sister's dog trainer's boyfriend's mother, than there actually are on the track...

I think since the fast and the furious, 9's is the number of choice for an every day driver.

[MO]

Originally Posted by santoitaliano

i dont want to hear one more person say that their stock POS keeps blowing clutches, diffs, etc..

if this is honestly the case, which i doubt, LEARN TO DRIVE

Agree 100%

[Falcon Coupe]

Me talking too.....let's call him "Bluey"

Hey Bluey, what would win a fight between a Lion and a Tiger ?
A Tiger would cus they are bigger.

Hey Bluey, what would win a fight between a Cobra and a Mongoose ?
Mongoose would win, they always do.

Hey Bluey, what would win a fight between a Piecost and a Eagle ?
Ahhhh....(bluey thinks it over).......um...ahhhh...a Piecost would win, they are bigger.
A minute goes by then.......i say, Bluey, what's a Piecost ?........he thinks then says, im not sure, my answer : a Piecost's about $2.50 at the footy........Bluey is not happy

[santoitaliano]

Originally Posted by dogbreath_48

I think since the fast and the furious, 9's is the number of choice for an every day driver.

yea ever since paul walker owed vin deasel a 10 second car.. blah..

*rolls eyes*

[MrQuan]

All my mates in primary school (including me :yeees: ) believed hover boards (from Back To The Future) were actually released in shops in the USA. We couldn't wait for them to appear in Australia!

This is a conversation at work from a few weeks back...
Guy at work: "Dude, my cars running so hot."
Me: "Have you checked the radiator?"
Guy at work: "Where's the radiator?"
Me: *points* That thing at the front there. Have you kept it topped up?
Guy at work: "Huh? What do you mean?"
(This guy was given his car by his Dad when he moved to Brisbane)

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Originally Posted by MrQuan

This is a conversation at work from a few weeks back...
Guy at work: "Dude, my cars running so hot."
Me: "Have you checked the radiator?"
Guy at work: "Where's the radiator?"
Me: *points* That thing at the front there. Have you kept it topped up?
Guy at work: "Huh? What do you mean?"
(This guy was given his car by his Dad when he moved to Brisbane)

So did you sell him some special 710 fluid and top up his headlights?

[bindi]

Tyre fitter to mother-in-law: Do you do much freeway driving?
M-I-L: No I don't. I work and live in town.
Tyre fitter: Well then, we've got some non-freeway tyres that are much cheaper than regular tyres...
M-I-L: Put four on.

When she told us, we laughed and told her they were retreads and said she should go back to him and get proper tyres put on. We don't go to this bloke for our tyres (pulling the wool over a non-mechanical person's eyes is not nice).

We still hassle her about non-freeway tyres to this day. :evil_laug

[MrQuan]

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

So did you sell him some special 710 fluid and top up his headlights?

Haha I wish, this guy was definatly a mechanic's dream customer.

[JG3282]

Best one was my sister one night when we were watching a delayed telecast of a footy match.

"How do they get the crowd in there if its not a live game?"

[MrQuan]

Hahaha, I bet she wished she could take her words but after she blurted that out :P

[JG3282]

Its on the list for her 21st this year

[Mike Gayner]

Originally Posted by santoitaliano

i dont want to hear one more person say that their stock POS keeps blowing clutches, diffs, etc..

if this is honestly the case, which i doubt, LEARN TO DRIVE

My stock EA has blown a clutch, gearbox and two diffs..... It's not my driving it's the weak *** Falcon driveline.

[santoitaliano]

Originally Posted by Mike Gayner

My stock EA has blown a clutch, gearbox and two diffs..... It's not my driving it's the weak *** Falcon driveline.

the driveline gotta be punished a fair bit i'd think.. are you talking "bang" blown.. or worn out over time.?

[Mike Gayner]

Both the diffs were killed during burnouts, the gearbox and clutch wore out over time. So, admittedly, the diffs were my fault. But still, it's only a wussy little 3.9 MPI.

I was walking along the beach with the girlfriend - she is one of these extreemly smart but practicly dumb people (uni type)

we come across a dead blue bottle and star fish.... She asks me why are they dead for.

because they are sea creatures bub, they live in salt water.

face goes bright red and she shuts up :P

but yeah some pretty funny stuff in here. the funny thing is most of these idiots at school will end up owning a Camry or Commodore and barack for greg murphy.

and want to buy a Supercharged Camry :P

[santoitaliano]

Originally Posted by Mike Gayner

Both the diffs were killed during burnouts, the gearbox and clutch wore out over time. So, admittedly, the diffs were my fault. But still, it's only a wussy little 3.9 MPI.

regardless, clutches will always wear out..

my old man's van is 3 years old and has worn out a clutch already..

lmao admittedly its carrying about a tonne and a half every day....

what kind of experiences have people had with auto's buggering up?

[Steffo]

Originally Posted by santoitaliano

what kind of experiences have people had with auto's buggering up?

None. My dad was a courier from 1988 - 1997, and had two Ford Econovan Maxi's, a 89 model and a 95 model. Both were auto's. The 89 one racked up 404,000km, carrying 1200 - 1600kg every day, never had a problem with the auto in it, ever. The second one racked up about 510,000km, as a courier, it did about 150,000km, no issues with the auto. Was then daily driven for the rest of its life (another 360,000km), and also used to carry things, and such. Never a problem. The second one though, on the original engine/auto did 430,000km. My dad bought a 30,000km old engine/trans from Japan and slotted them in, and they were also fine for another 80,000km before the thing got stolen.

Every other car we've owned has been auto too ('88 Corolla CS 1.6, '98 AU Forte, '01 VW Polo 16V, '02 AUIII Forte) and they've all been flawless too. I guess our experience with cars contributes to the reason I think automatic is better then manual...

[santoitaliano]

with manuals we have to accept that clutches will wear out...

gearboxes and diffs we can have higher expectations for..

[MITCHAY]

My parents had an 93 or 94 Holden Apollo (Yes big piece of ) with auto and have a 2000 VTII Commy with auto never had probs with either.

Only probs we had with the Apollo were the service guys leaving the antenna up and then it getting snapped off. Holden always replaced it though.

Commy other than recall work which may or may not affect our car specifically has been flawless although rather gutless really. Id rather drive the TX5 any day.

Ive got an 89 TX5 Ghia which is manual and been through a gearbox and the clutch is on the way out. Gearbox wasnt my fault, im the 4th owner.

Clutch though is my fault from back in stupid days. Done 250000kms. Never broken down though so its good. Rather replace a clutch than an engine.

Treat your car like crap then it will give you crap . Although i do feel sorry for those whove bought new cars and have had problems through no fault of there own.


Lol on the topic of stupid things people have said i had a chick ask where the clutch was in an automatic and where is the gear pattern on the gear selector.