Anger Management (funny)

[big_pete]

ANGER MANAGMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take
it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man
answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I
please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe
that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct
number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the
last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an
********!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word
'********' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple
of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call
him up and yell, "You're an ********!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '********'
calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
********!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I
had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For
Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******** ( I
had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the
BMW ********, to o. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?"


"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I
asked.

"Yes, 34 Minge St, Mingsville, It's a yellow house,
and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an ********!" Then I hung up, and added his number to
my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came
up with an idea. I called ******** #1.

"Hello."

"You're an ********!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"********, I live at 34 Laminge st, Mingeville, a yellow house,
with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ********," and hung up.

Then I called ******** #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, ********," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ****," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, ********, here's your chance. I'm coming over
right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 34 Minge St, Mingeville, and that I was on my way over
there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the
gang war going down in Minge St, Mingville.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mingville. I got there
just in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each
other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.

:evil3: