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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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02-05-2007, 05:50 PM | #1 | ||
Formerly known as NUDGE
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 327
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Dictionary For Womens Personal Ad's
This is in NO WAY meant to be putting any females down at all 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No Tits Average Looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological Liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally Secure - On Medication Feminist - Fat Free Spirit - Junkie Friendship First - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body Hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy Drunk Professional - ****** Voluptous - Very Fat Large Frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul Mate - Stalker Women's English She Says She Means 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We Need = I Want 5. I am Sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We Need To Talk = You're in Trouble 7. Sure, Go Ahead = You Better Not 8. Do What You Want = You will pay for this later 9. I Am Not Upset = Of course im Upset you Moron 10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about. Mens English He Says He Means 1. I am Hungry = I am Hungry 2. I am Sleepy = I am Sleepy 3. I am Tired = I am Tired 4. Nice Dress = Nice Cleavage 5. I Love You = Let's have sex now 6. I am Bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I Have This Dance = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I Call You Sometime = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do You Want To Go To A Movie = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I Take You Out To Dinner = I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those Shoes Don't Go With That Outfit = I Am Gay. And Finally... A recent scientific study has found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when sh is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissirs stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
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My Ride BF Mk11 Ute Mrs Ride 2004 Toyota Prado GXL |
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02-05-2007, 05:52 PM | #2 | ||||
Captain Malcolm Reynolds
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 3,830
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Very funny.
Have a gold star
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Currently: 2014 Mazda6 GT (Daily) and 1999 Mazda MX5 (Fun Car) Previously: 2001 Ford Escape XLT; 2010 MC Mondeo; 1984 FD LTD; 2001 AU2 Falcon Forte; 2005 LS Focus Zetec; 1988 RE Colt; 1982 RB Colt; 1974 KE20 Corolla Quote:
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03-05-2007, 12:11 AM | #3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Perth
Posts: 7,161
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Oh brother, talking about hitting the nail on the head, every time too.
XClent
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jaydee351 4DV8 |
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03-05-2007, 04:15 PM | #4 | ||
i'm baaaack....
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: workin on something
Posts: 4,460
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LMFAO
sooooooooooooo true man! i love it... i think i might show my girl friend this then run LOL |
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03-05-2007, 04:56 PM | #5 | ||
Ex EL Falcon
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bris-bane
Posts: 683
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Haha comedy. I don't think I'll show this to my partner, I don't think she'd find it amusing (but I do!) hehe.
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Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now! |
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03-05-2007, 05:06 PM | #6 | |||
Back to Le Frenchy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Back home.....
Posts: 13,346
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So funny and so true.
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Quote:
07 Renault Sport Megane F1 Team R26 #1397
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03-05-2007, 05:14 PM | #7 | ||
GT-P #0336
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,360
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That's great! :
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2003 FULLY OPTIONED MERCURY SILVER BA GT-P BUILD #336
REVERSE CAMERA - SAT NAV - PIONEER SUB & AMP - SUNROOF - DVD PLAYER - CUSTOM DUAL EXHAUST ~Tuned By Bluepower Racing~ |
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03-05-2007, 07:30 PM | #8 | ||
Mandy Moore FTW!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 211
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Has anybody seen the drive through ATM article for men and women?
I read it ages ago in my local paper but cant really remember it correctly. Went something like Men: - Pull up to ATM - Stick card into ATM - Type PIN and Cash - Retrieve dispensed cash and card - Leave Women: - Drive past ATM - Reverse back - Drive forward and attempt to align car up with ATM - Turn off car and apply handbrake - Empty contents of handbag onto passengers seat - Search through purse for card - Find card and insert into ATM - Reinsert card correct way - Search handbag contents again for PIN written on paper - Type PIN - Press clear and retype correct PIN - Retrieve Dispensed cash and card - Write amount on paper and place in purse - Place contents of handbag back in - Check hair in mirror - Search handbag for lipstick - Apply lipstick - Give finger to irate male driver waiting behind - Start car - Restart car after stall - Drive off - Release handbrake 5km down the road : I hope the females on here dont mind a little casual humour. : |
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04-05-2007, 12:27 PM | #9 | ||
The Vengeful One
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tazzy
Posts: 12,765
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hahahaha!, god i almost wet my self!
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04-05-2007, 12:44 PM | #10 | ||
Audi S3
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 8,307
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oldie but goodie!!!!
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04-05-2007, 12:50 PM | #11 | ||
Official AFF conservative
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 3,549
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Hahaha, harsh but funny!
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A cup half empty... but full of euphoria. |
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05-05-2007, 05:26 PM | #12 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Perth
Posts: 7,161
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I showed it to my Mrs. then everything is black, the doc says once the swelling goes down I'll be able to see again.
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jaydee351 4DV8 |
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